Positive Changes Happening!

So you haven't heard from me in quite sometime. No, I didn't forget you. It has been a long and busy summer/fall and yes now winter. Plenty has happened since I blogged last. Lots of clients, weddings, a womens retreat, a cruise, PSC events too. Mostly I spent awesome quality time with myself, my family and our pets. I know most of you see me at PSC regularly. But for those who don't, I have been busy pealing off the layers of years of neglect aka-weight. Walking, using hand weights yes, even dancing when no one is watching! One thing is for sure, I am really loving this journey I am on. The journey of rediscovering me. Every week I toss clothes into a bag and give them away. And it feels really good to be close to 50 lbs less. I have so much energy. These days I am doing most of this alone. Some of the friends I thought would be supportive have been no where to be found and some friendship have broken. I was hurt and surprised by this at first. Maybe because our relationships revolved around doing lunches, making dinners. I found it weird that they just stopped calling/talking to me right after surgery. (fyi-I still eat people just not so much!) But a few new ladies stepped forward. They touch in, check in and really listen when I need them! I am very thankful to have their love and support. Some don't know what to say....so they say nothing at all or ask if I am sick...to which I reply: No, I am not....actually I have never felt better. Please do not think I am bragging! I am simply proud of my new accomplishments and hard work. I wish to share my journey to inspire others. And I am selfish too. It would be easier if I had people working to create positive life changes with me.

The one true constant IS change. Albert Einstein said: the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. It is much easier to stick with the devil you know.... then to take the time to get to know and try something NEW. Yes, this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. Weight loss surgery IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT. It is in fact a new way IN. To get back into the game of life by not sitting on the sidelines watching anymore! At times I do get over emotional or a bit edgy. But then I remember that this is vital for my overall health and happiness. Truth is I may never LIKE to exercise. But if I don't move...the numbers on the scale don't change very much.
Last Monday I had most of my hair cut off, now that I am off of all meds that I took for years(stomach acids, daily insulin injections, diabetes pills 2x a day, allergy meds, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, pain pills and steroids for my back injuries)I am beginning a cleanse to officially detox my system. Begining in January I will be on a regimen of walking, Yoga, swimming and some dance classes (I used to dance professionally when I was younger) and I am thinking maybe trying some Zumba after I loose another 25-40lbs Along with long morning walks on the beach. From Jan 6-Mar 1 I will be on a Body Mind and Spirit Sabbatical in Key West. I will also be writing my book! It is time to work this last part of my cocoon off. Today I am happier and more balanced then I can ever remember, and I am living in a constant state of gratitude. I am so blessed! Happy Holidays Dear Ones...<3

It's a New Dawn a New Day.....And I am feeling?

So the song goes.....I am feeling good! Most days are pretty awesome. I love having so much energy. And did I mention I now have a closet and a dresser full of things I can't wear for an entirely different reason? These days, getting ready still takes forever, but instead of nothing fitting properly or at all, now they are falling off and not fitting at all! ( : I AM NOT complaining. But I am now trying to decide do I take the really good designer stuff to be altered, or should I just replace them? I never thought about the the expense of doing that. But I think that I will have to be smart and do it in baby steps. Going to start cruising the
2 nd Hand Consignment Stores in the area. Save money that way. Maybe take my Blue Fish Designer Dresses, shirts and skirts in with me and resell them on consignment or EBay. For those who don't know, Blue Fish clothes are heavy grade A cotton, organic, hand painted, dated and numbered pieces. I own several vintage "retired" pieces. My favorite? A dark green Celtic looking dress with velvet trim and cuffs that retails for well over $300. These designs are: Renaissance, Mystical & Romantic and always in style. They look good on all shapes and sizes, dresses are almost floor length. Always fit "me" and the type of work that I do out in the world. Whenever I wear them on stage or after a church service, women always ask me WEAR can they find them? For years, I have been pimping this brand as well as the Angel Heart Designs too. I will now need to let these go and slowly begin to replace them with something that fits the new "me" better. Maybe it's time to show a little more leg? lol With another 60+ lbs to go, I will wait to buy NEW items until the true butterfly is done emerging. I am grateful for the use of these "works of art." I support the art community 100 %. I buy things that move me, touch my spirit. And yes, I like things with textures. Handmade or vintage antique jewelry, clothes, cotton & hemp products....I find myself these days going greener still. Antique shops just "call me." To help the planet I have been recycling, reusing and refurbishing for years. I am finally becoming more the "me" that I have been missing for so long. There is a whole new level of energy in the connection to Spirit and to the connection of everything actually. I am laughing MORE. Finding so much joy in the everyday, simple things. I thank God everyday for the gifts, and for you!

It's Not What Your Eating....It's What's Eating You!

So now that I am dealing with all the emotional parts of weight loss, I realize just how much was buried over the years when I wasn't paying attention during the weight gain. Things aka emotions that I had"stuffed" away. I also discovered that "stuff" unresolved....over the years, will eat away at you! Bit by bit, it stores as fat and then manifests as pain within the body. A numbness or loneliness in the Spirit. What a WOW moment that was for me. I am learning how to ask for what I want and need. Without assuming others "already or should know." They aren't psychic. Not everyone see, and hears like I do. So now I must be clear with my words. Speak my truth, And then feel worthy of receiving. No, not at all easy to making all of these changes all at once. But one day at a time, step by step I am getting it. I am stepping out of the roll of victim. Choosing much more to be the survivor. I am comfortable at being a leader too. Someone said to me yesterday, how brave I am. I actually felt....proud of myself. Being proud isn't an EGO thing. It is about liking myself or an accomplishment and allowing myself to feel good about it inside and out. I can take compliments easier today when up until recently I would shy away from them. Now I just smile and just say Thank You. Many of my "tribe" have been kind and supportive. While others surprised me at how they just "stepped away." Choose to not be around much, never talk about it. I understand "it" is pretty intense....real. No walls, or hiding for me anymore. I am out, exposed, becoming more confident and being true to myself. Someone else recently said: (with a face of disgust) why would you do something like this to yourself? Without missing a beat I said: because I love myself enough to take better care of my own needs. Stop putting EVERYTHING and EVERYONE ahead of them. I am finding my JOY.
She didn't say anything and I haven't seen her since! Hey, I KNOW it has nothing to do with me...how others feel about my lap band. And I also know, that what other people think of me is none of my business! lol What is most important is how I feel about me, my choices and what I am eating. I am not letting emotional issues go unattended. I feel it, deal with it and move on from it. Just keep walking, swimming, dancing and singing! And living my life out loud. Authentic and happy to be alive again. Which BTW means: MY BODY IS ALMOST PAIN FREE BABY!

beautifully broken... shaped by the wind... dangerously twisted

So these are the lyrics to a song I really like at this time in my life. It is called "Beautifully Broken" by Warren Haynes. The words somehow fit my soul right now. For the 1st time in years I feel as though my inner beauty is coming forth. Through all the years of pain, struggles and challenges I am EMERGING from my cocoon of protection. Becoming all I am meant to be.
Shaped by the wind: is the breath of all life and my connection to the Spirit World.
Dangerously twisted: to the edge by the those who tried to break me.
Broken: finding out that no matter what my body says.....my Spirit will always be unbroken.
I also had another great accomplishment. I do NOT like photos of me taken. Super Duper picky about ones that are used for press packages(ask Liz) etc until last Sunday. I came home after an awesome day at PSC and Jo asked to take pictures of me and Lily Bits. I said yes. And out of 10 she took....I really liked 7 of them so much that I shared them on Facebook. I know not a big deal right? But it was to me. She said, you need photos to show you along the way how far you are coming with weight loss. It made sense. Denying a part of who I was, or am at any given moment seems pointless. I need to see the "Beautifully Broken". So I am staying present and practicing acceptance. Of all the parts that express me, my life and journey. Yes, I "knew" that this was important to the process, but it was still just one more thing I sometimes forget to do. I am making notes for myself. Sticky notes are another favorite thing for me to use right now. Sue, my hairdresser aka " She Who Makes Me Look Good" gave me sticky notes which say: "Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting!" She said they just screamed my name when she bought them for me! They are everywhere reminding me that I MUST do this. Plus they make me giggle out loud. And yes, that is the kicker. The true key to survival: LAUGHTER. It really is the best medicine. I am happier than I have ever been. I am more my authentic self too. I really LOVE my life, my job, my family and friends. I am so pleased to be on this next lag of the journey. I don't know where I am going....but I can't wait to get there. This line will be on my marker someday when I finally leave this rock for good! lol I am so excited to see where this road I am on is going to take me next. If you haven't heard me say this to you personally yet, listen up: I am SO very grateful you are on the journey with me. Together we are one! *hugs*

Creating "A New You" Group

So I am finding that weight loss is all about being present. Present in thoughts, actions and deeds. Not always easy to juggle all of these at the same time in the 3-rings of my circus, but I am doing my best. One day at a time. You won't believe how hard it is to say NO, walk away and regroup. Sometimes I can only focus on one ring at a time. Doing the best I can with my "thoughts" then move on to the "actions" and finally to the "deeds." But when I have days like that I find that I can still be pretty hard on myself. I might get moody...or just plain mad because I let a few bites of "chocolate" win! The other day it was a handful of chips. Salt was needed....not sure how to explain it maybe only the gals out there would really get this craving!
As with anything NEW it takes time and practice to really get it right. If I say YES to a naughty snack that "isn't highest and best" for me....then I must say YES to an extra block or 2 on my walk. It is about taking a moment to ask myself "is it worth it?" Do I really want to eat this? I must say, it is getting easier to be mindful of healthier choices that I am making. I like the feeling I have when I ask, listen and allow myself freedom to choose. No need for power struggles....guilt, shame or blame. And the very best thing I did lately, was to get into a fight with my scale. BTW-We still are not speaking. (it lies to me lol) A few weeks ago, I suddenly stopped losing weight. I hit a plateau. My body is trying to find a new balance. To not go all or nothing. I was upset when it said that I gained 4 1/2 lbs overnight. Impossible since I am eating so well and exercising. I sadly mentioned this a few nurse friends who kindly reminded me that "muscle" weighs more than fat! My legs are rock solid again! To stop weighing myself everyday. To go by how my clothes are fitting. duh...I knew this but FORGOT. Once took their advise I felt a whole lot better. What I realized is when I get scared....and fear fills the body mind and spirit EVERYTHING just stops flowing. My mind is so powerful.....I can create my reality in a snap of my fingers. I must continue to flow....so the weight can go!
The support group I am in once a month is little to no help. NO ONE talks about the connection to emotions during this process. NO ONE wants to walk with me or become a "healthy lap band buddy." Many have not changed old patterns. Still eat things they shouldn't, and DO NOT exercise. I must scare them because I am all about creating healthy changes on all levels.
Yes, it is just the beginning of the journey, but I am really feeling like I might actually get this figured out. (( : I am working on being more patient with myself. Taking time out to rest, days where I don't walk....just swim or use the hand weights. I don't have to "do it all at once." I don't want hurt my body. I want to take my time and do it right. I keep hearing, slow and steady wins the race, I am OK with this. I am going to check out other groups, advertise if I have to, to find others like me. And if I can't? Maybe I should start a group.
Last Thurs before circle Cathie and Teresa said, "your going to be the poster girl" for Lap band/weight loss surgery. I just laughed. But maybe they are onto something! Maybe it is about forming a new group for ALL people who struggle with weight. Who have had surgery or not. Offering positive encouragement and modivation, visualizing meditations, group sharing about the emotional around issues of weight gain and loss, creating a safe place for us to understand how to create healthier changes for our bodies, minds and Spirits. Sharing laughter, tears, cheers, ideas/ solutions to live in a world that doesn't always accept all shapes of people as equal. We can exchanging recipes and yes, maybe have a clothes exchange as we downsize! With weekly meeting times and places to walk and talk. So I am on it people. If you are interested let me know. Until I get this going, I am going to just offer meet up walking times:
Begining Aug 2 @ Greece Ridge Mall Mon-Fri meet at the Front Entrance by the Carousel SHARP> 8:30-9:30 AM please fb me to let me know your interested!

Taking Time Out For Me.

So last week I shared about tummy messages. Today I want to talk about moving myself up on the "To Do" List. Without guilt, shame, worry or doubt. When I became a single mom of a 4 and 6 year I began patterns that ultimately became unhealthy for me. I worked a 8-10 hour day at the hospital taking care of patients, soul responsibility of 2 small children, a few pets, a house, shopping, the lawn, laundry, along with everything else most Moms do for their family's.
And I was alone, with no family support, very few friends who were reliable I was not fun anymore. I barley kept going, living day by day, working non stop until I simply dropped at night. No time to go out, relax, to party, cook or breathe for that matter. Without my ex I lost my former lifestyle....it was a challenge for sure. I stopped working out with my trainer and using my lifetime membership at the health club. So busy most of the time that I often forgot to eat until it was too late to cook. By then it was easier to just eat a bowl of cereal or hit a drive thru. But I told myself the self sacrifice was worth being away from his alcoholism, drug use and domestic abuse. And it WAS on many levels just not for my physical body!
Everything that I had always "taken for granted" including a house keeper and PT babysitter was gone. And I kept putting myself further and further at the bottom of the list. Everyone else's needs came first, mine weren't important. Soon I got involved with our church. I went to services, classes, meetings just to maintain some sort of spiritual balance. I found my strength there. I found my connection to God and Spirit to be mind blowing. It fulfilled me! It healed me. I served the board until I became the assistant Pastor after attending the church 4 years. I made new friends. PSC became my family. When Jo arrived....my light was fading fast. I was almost burnt out. We had 2 kids(with issues) survived a wicked divorce, cancer treatment together and then a 3rd child followed. We had 2 dogs, 1 cat and had moved twice. I also inherited a CHURCH. The whole damn thing, with it's own issues. One day we were just handed EVERYTHING without warning. We had to move everything out of the old church she had rented to another church group! Late after working all day we, 2 of us with children (boy did they hated PSC lol) moved it all (including 50 pews)into a huge storage space in Greece. What didn't fit there we moved into our small home basement. It was already rough time for us. And now I had 20+displaced members and friends, the entire churches history, belongings and had a building for sale but they had a rental contract for 18 months before they would be buying it! So she left us with no place to meet. We held services and a weekly home circle in our home. I just did what Spirit told me to do. Do not break the continuity of energy that is Plymouth. After a year or so of that and people ALWAYS in our home, I found an meeting room in a hotel. We met there for almost 2 years. Every Sunday we carried a box of book/hymnals, materials, collection baskets, portable lectern, 4 healing benches & bowls in and out. We held 52 Sundays a year. Car loaded and unloaded by us ONLY. In all weather(boy did Jo hate me & PSC lol) But we kept "the continuity of PSC flowing and growing". We never took time off, never had time to relax. Over the years, we have had dozens of fights about "my church and their vision" was NEVER hers. That we never had time to be at home, time alone with our family or each other. That I was working too hard for NOTHING! No pay check. But still I pushed forward. We secured a loan for our current building, where I/we signed our lives away for the vision of "Spirit". In 2001 we moved into Vick Pk A in march and hosted a Annual NSAC Convention with 500+ Spiritualists from all over the country that October. Since the very beginning I have watched several people come and go. Sad that they didn't see the "bigger picture" or stick around to become as dedicated and committed as we are. I can count in 1 hand and a few fingers on the other, how many Sunday Services I have missed. I have my own personal regrets about some of the choices we have made along the way. The "friends we lost when trust is broken, that happens when the people you count on to help.... let you down. The unhealthy lifestyle/relationship patterns that we have formed as a couple. Never having time alone is NOT good for any relationship! In 2005 we split. For a year...I tried to function solo. Without my right hand. It was impossible. And yes, since I inherited PSC I have gained weight, and a lot of it. At my highest weight I was 100 lbs more then I was when I joined PSC as a member! When I was looking at the early 90's church photo albums and I didn't recognize myself anymore. Years of late night circles and classes, eating after 9:00 PM and then going right to bed. What was I thinking? The stress of all "of it" and personal responsibility of "building it so they would come" I have energetically absorb a lot. It has taken a toll on my mind, body and spirit. Finding balance was crucial if I were to continue the course Spirit set many years ago. Yes, some of my choices I regret...but today I can understand WHY I made them and take the steps needed to reverse it.
And through it all, I have been so incredibly blessed. I have accomplished so much with my very best friend whom, if had not come along....I would have never been able fulfill Spirits Vision. I am very grateful that God keeps sending me angels. We have an awesome group of people who now help me keep the continuity of energy "flowing and growing." I wish to clear the record: the surgery I had....was needed BECAUSE of the choices I made along the way to NOT to take time out for myself. To work all week -for many years, I had 2 full time jobs, while trying to be a good mom, missing concerts, graduations, things I can NEVER redo with my children. Never having weekends off for quality family time, or yearly mini vacations. In 14 years to take one family vacation just to spread my beloved grandparents ashes in the gulf, .doesn't really not count as a relaxing happy time. I was greiving, lost and trying to heal my broken heart! On May 10th created a new me birthday. I made a promise to myself to undo the old unhealthy patterns, to make time out for me and my family 1st. To Celebrate my life and my accomplishments. To be PRESENT in my choices, actions and deeds. I will dance again, I will not live in physical pain everyday because my back/spine was collapsing into itself holding too much weight "physical and emotional" any longer. I will not live on pain meds. There is NOT quality of life doing so. Back injuries are always about "not feeling supported" in your efforts. Financially or otherwise. Earlier this in Jan we were invited by dear friends to join them on a Cruise to celebrate his 60th birthday! Honestly, I wouldn't miss it for the world. Booking 6 months out, is was less than $50 a day. So I said YES. I still must come up with the flights that will cost more then the cruise itself but it will happen. I have years of IOUS out in the Universe! And I called them all in! I actually yelled to the top of my lungs: I WANT TO LIVE. HAPPY, HEALTHY WEALTHY RIGHT NOW! I no longer wish to struggle and worry about PSC anymore. I HAVE DONE MY PART. It is time to take time out for me. my family...the things that are MOST important to me. Life is too short to "wait"...... "eat" dessert first. Find the joy and sweetness again. Without guilt, shame, worry or doubts. I will now be doing this each and everyday. A few weeks ago we finally called in together to take "personal day off." No one was sick...we simply said we NEED to just sit and not move today, to have some quality family time. And we still got 3 texts and calls, had to do 2+ hrs of church business in our home. So much for "time off." I am so looking forward to being out of reach of everyone for 6 days and 5 nights! NO ONE to disturb me as I am getting to know my new self and the people I adore all over again....it is so LONG overdue! Thanks for listening.

Tummy Messages

So I have been one of those people who has always listened to my "gut". The tight feeling like a crunch means: pay attention (be on alert) The more tightness I feel or the higher the intensity; means: danger, something bad is about to happen! Those incredible butterflies, well they always mean: love and pure excitement. The elevator sensation means: nervousness or anxiety. And when working with Spirit Energy for Channeling Healing or Readings, there is a swirling that means: sacred power. Trance Channeling feels like: like all of the above are blended together. I feel healing spirals of energy which are much more solid, focused and powerful. Energy popping up and down, like pistons of an engine are new to me after surgery. I have been super charged since the Seance last Sat Night. Still processing this "new sensation". I like it...but it feels like only time and practice with help me understand what these changes "mean" for our future work.
These tummy messages are always combined with changes of body temps, goose bumps, hair raising, changes in my breathing and my heart rate. All of my senses are totally on. Everything is digitally enhanced. I feel endless signals or energies bouncing off of me in all directions. Electricity and light is what I see and feel with my eyes closed or open. Sometimes there is a metallic taste under my tongue. I am quite aware that my body is experiencing an adrenal release. But it is like my system is becoming more fine tuned and it runs on demand. Somewhere there is a remote in the Spirit World and they are watching my life on "High Definition TV" or something! lol What a funny thought. But I serve that source. The ONE without fear or doubt. I KNOW there is a bigger plan. I will continue to go where I am led, to humbly serve Spirit and always render service to any Soul who crosses my path.
Living my life in a place of gratitude. Seeing the world anew--in awe and wonder. I feel like I am just scratching the surface of what the entire package or plan really is. But I will LISTEN. I will show up. And I will do my part. At the end of the day....that will be enough.

Who Knew?

So who knew that weight loss or gain was such an EMOTIONAL issue? OK, so we all raised our hands, no big surprise there. Boy, am I finding emotional baggage being released all over the place these days. I am a person who pretty much "knows" who, what, when and where this baggage came from....but what I didn't know was that I literally have boat loads of it. Shame, blame, guilt, fear, and pain. I honestly thought I got rid of this crap years ago. I did...must have been the stuff on the surface.
The last few months as I have been busy disposing pounds I find myself laughing one minute and completely sobbing the next. The whole "emotional roller-coaster" feels a bit foreign to me. I must admit, NOT being able to control the tears on command or demand was unsettling at first. However, I feel like an old pro almost 2 months to the day out of surgery. I know that must be released and it is time to go. As I get healthier it no longer can be stuffed away or locked up. I totally get this!
Between the age of 10-25 I had a pretty serious eating disorder: Anorexia and Bulimia. I almost went into organ failure at the age of 19. I collapsed after not eating solid for about 3 months. It was ALL about me trying to CONTROL my life: by my weight, food consummation all to cover up deeper emotional pain. In my last blog I spoke about the severe sexual/physical/emotional abuse I suffered as a child. That included having to clear my plate even when I wasn't hungry and both parents using food as a "healing balm" for whatever damage was done and left hurting. Mentally or Physically. After a good old fashion belt beating, nothing made it all better faster than getting some "Ow Scream". Yep, that's what Robin as a 2-3 year old called ice cream! Funny thing is....it isn't so cute anymore. Kind of sad actually. I have realized that I have so much "learned" behavior to undo and as more memories surface I find that I still want to energetically "feed" the pain. Pain for what was, pain for what wasn't and there is even pain for what will never be. I know that this is a waste of energy!
Carole King got it right: "I haven't got time for the pain." However, I do have the time to practice self nurturing and forgiveness. Allow my spirit to release and let go of what no longer serves me. Does this mean I will be able to heal once and for all. Dear God, I sure hope so. And I still like ice cream and I know I can have a scoop because I want it, not because I am using it to mask something else! The trick: I must be mindful. Listen to my body. Find a way to let food be fuel and not my enemy. I do struggle not to weigh myself everyday. But I am working hard to not rock my body with such emotional extremes anymore....instead let it find gentle balance. Without the need to control it. I continue to excercise and walk 2-3 miles daily.
I will keep searching to find the "Happy Medium" inside. Hey, I know she is in here somewhere. And as soon as she feels safe enough....she will appear! Thanks for listening. (( :

Wonder if....

So I have been thinking a lot about the statement " Mom, when are you going to grow up?" After my surgery, I have found myself traveling backwards in a time machine. I see the painfully shy, emotionally battered, physically and sexually abused lonely, little girl I once was. A place where the Spirit's I regularly saw and the 4-legged strays I found were my ONLY trusted friends. I remember the lake I lived on, the creek I walked by and drew "healing" rocks from, those trees I sat in, was my safe sacred space. And I can "clearly" see why I am where I am today on many levels.
During my morning walks and meditations one thing is clearer then ever. It isn't about the past anymore.....it is ALL about the present. Wonder if, you grew up like I did? Having to grow up
far too quickly, a time where parent/adult dysfunction overshadowed your innocence each and every day? Where peace and security wasn't something you ever felt inside of your home or family, but instead it was a place filled with constant conflict and fear. The pain and hunger of basic survival was what you KNEW as your reality. A dark place where LOVE didn't exist without condition or pain....and HATE thrived in fowl words and twisted minds? Yes, only God knows how I ever survived at all.
I often wonder and then I hear: that it is the water, those trees and rocks, those 4-legged ones who taught me to love, and those amazing Spirits who held me together and helped me all along my journey. I grew up as a part of them....never separate. I also know the Creator was always there in those darkest times, when other parts of me were being plucked apart by others. In a place inside..... far deeper......I was safe and loved by something BIGGER. And I did have a mother. I was always surrounded and protected by the Greatest Mother of all: Mother Nature. Without her beauty and healing, I would have broken long ago.
So here I am today, a survivor, strong, courageous and a mighty force who is connected to all that is and I can't help but to hope and wonder if maybe just maybe the rest of my life can be sweeter, filled with love, free of pain and suffering, if I can indeed nurture my inner child enough to find my lost innocence again? To pick up the "I always wanted too....if only I did this or that, and rewrite my story. Sing, dance or play the guitar. Platinum Blond hair or add midnight blue streaks if I want, get a new tattoo or trade the mommy car for a convertible. Maybe, the time for me to be more childlike is LONG OVERDUE! This Butterfly wants to fly and have fun, be free from the past, actually to be empowered and liberated by it. Be happy, safe, financially secure, to animate the highest vibration on the planet LOVE. Oh yes, watch me! I will do this and more.
I think I have learned enough of the hard knock life lessons of pain, worry, adult struggles. I have survived all of the tests along the way. And this weight loss/be fit and healthy adventure I am on, I am busy preparing for my final exam: "To become the Master of My Own Life. Not allow those Experiences of Life to Master Me."
What I am Creating today in my present, is a new improved reality for my future. And yes, I am and always will be a hopeless romantic who somehow after 47 years, still believes in "happily ever after!" And we Spiritualist's KNOW "The End" is just another beginning!

For a Fill and a Song!

So on Wed I went in for my 1st lap band fill. Now that was a weird adventure. The lowlight was the anxiety and the needle was so big it could have tapped an elephant. The highlight was the "Novocain" and number I posted on the scale. I am down 37 lbs in 7 weeks! I can't believe it. My Dr was humming and happy. I was numb and thrilled. I go back in 6 weeks. I am walking daily, using hand weights and resistance bands. But I am back on liquids for a few days until I adjust to this change. I am tight and sore now as my body gets used to this pressure and the new restriction. At least that is what they tell me.
At the PSC Annual Membership Meeting, they presented me with a gorgeous new ocean blue guitar. What a dream come true! I had a plain one a long time ago. As a painfully shy 14 year old I began lessons with an awesome music teacher (Mr Milk's) who encouraged me to sing publicly. He choose me for solos in the choir and then offered me a spot in the music group called "The Singing Swinging 7" at our school. The very best thing to ever happen to me as a student in the education system. In those days I actually felt that God had thrown me a lifeline. Music allowed me to express my inner most emotions through...SONG. But my happiness was short lived when my abusive father broke the instrument in half and ordered me to STOP after school rehearsals and the private guitar lessons and voice coaching my kind teacher offered free to me. After loosing something that was so important to me, I was even more withdrawn, and I never found anything else that I excelled in school wise.
As an adult I have always "wished" to find someone that had the patience to teach a dyslexic south paw to play. I love all types of mucic and have always had musicians as friends. And Spirit sent me a new talented friend last year that was up for the challenge. Out of the blue on day, she said Spirit told her to teach me how to play the guitar. Did I want to learn or were her gifts "off"? She also saw that we would be singing/playing together at PSC and with the choir. Mentioned an album called, "Howe The Wind Blows". All I could do was laugh but it was followed by a great big teary YES! I am having my 1st lesson today. Please pray for her. I love to sing, have been doing karaoke for years (won many contests over the years) out and about. (A shout out to the "Girls Night Out Gang") I always have new and old lyrics bouncing around in my head, so I figured it is fine time to put this all together.
However, I was surprised when I mentioned it to my oldest daughter the other day and she was less then supportive. We had just gone a round about me cutting my hair off and spiking it blond( my natural color is now white platinum blond. Over the next 5 months I am slowly going back to all natural) She said " Mom, when are you going to finally grow up and stop trying new things? Stunned, I felt her words sting me. Somehow I managed to sputter out: I guess.....NEVER! I am only 47 years old Heather. After she left I was still thinking, Am I too old to be doing something like this? Am I being foolish? Maybe I am I having a mid life crisis or something. Clear as a bell my Soul screamed NO. Immediately an inner peace followed.
I really don't care anymore what others think about me, or what I am doing or learning. I am "over" being judged or criticized by people who don't really understand what I have overcome in this lifetime. I am for the first time, doing what makes me happy. I am not sacrificing myself any longer.
I am nurturing and tending to my damaged inner child. Part of this process is to keep doing things that will allow me to heal the past and continue to grow. A few months ago, I made a promise to release and let go of the horrible experiences that I allowed to destroy parts of me. These "bits" can be found again, the emotions revisited, so I can rewrite them with much happier endings..
Life's lessons do not need to be painful or debilitating. They just need our permission and courage to allow the true soul lessons to materialize when we are ready. I know it took great COURAGE to survive my childhood. But now I can THRIVE and celebrate my life in my adulthood. For my UNBREAKABLE SPIRIT is the true author of my "happily ever after". And I am grateful.....

One Foot In Front Of The Other.....

So recovery has been a day by day process. I have found that I can no longer force myself or my body to do what is isn't ready to do. It gets cranky when I push myself too fast. Seems I totally underestimated my super woman healing powers. "I" thought for sure I would take a week or 2 off tops. I would do what I was told to do REST and HEAL. Apparently I didn't read the whole brochure or fine print in my pre-op paper work. You know, the part that says, 6-12 weeks is the normal recovery time for most patients.
My Dr laughed at me when I came in for my 2 week post op appt. He said: "My weakness or sleepiness was normal." Having the blues was too. Please go home and actually READ the paperwork they sent me home with and ummm....DO what it tells you. " I find that I need regular naps now. I eat.... gasp....organic baby food, soups, protein shakes, because everything I eat must be soft. In many ways I am treating myself like a small child. Now you ARE laughing at me! I figure my inner child is really enjoying, my outer adult nurturing her. Caring for her like she has never been cared for in her entire childhood. The newly added smell of baby soap, lotion and powder totally takes this process to a even deeper level of personal healing. Because of my skin sensitivities and allergies I am supposed to use these products too. I totally forgot that I loved these smells. They remind me of my children when they were infants. I LOVED the smell of them after I bathed them and put lotion on them. It is rather amazing to be so connected to my body. I am cleared out of all breads, pastas, flour, sugar, caffeine(hey does a 1/2 cup really count lol) eating little to no carbs....and no longer taking medications including insulin. I am a month out of surgery and I am completely detoxed.
And the best part......my Spirit has NEVER felt more present. I listen to my body, mind and spirit. I have no choice but to honor this temple each and everyday. I can only imagine what the future holds. But I find that I am in no hurry. I am taking time out to plant flowers, water them and to SMELL them. I am seeing clients again. My connection to the Spirit World is humming! SO fine tuned. Who knew, this would enhance my abilities? I am working at a more comfortable pace for all concerned. I have been delegating classes when I need to. Mother Nature is really speaking to me. The Earth healing work/ceremony is helping me stay centered and showing me spirit messages. A lovely blue jay has visited me the last 3 mornings. Just singing away. Walks right up to me. Never have I seen such a solid, strong, bright blue male. There are butterflies everywhere, humming birds and deer, my morning doves Mr and Mrs are sitting on their eggs in my Japanese Dogwood. We coo- chat daily. And everyday I meditate and walk, and walk and walk some more. In a month: 32 lbs down....lots more to go. But I am more at peace then I have ever been.
I am also looking for company to walk with me. I find that I am a bit lonely at times. So if you are interested, please let me know. I walk in the AM and PM after dinner time. Thanks for listening. All is well....

Under Construction In a Fish Bowl With Audio!

So I struggled for the last few weeks about being "out and honest" with my friends, clients and parishioner's about what I am going through right now. Being a public figure working within the community is sort of like living in a fish bowl with audio. My most private, embarrassing moment's, as well as the wonderful achievements always play out on the public view, the "stage"of life. Absolutely everyone at one time or another judges me and my choices. But make no mistake about it: I judge myself as well. It used to crush me....one day I was up, the next I had a target on my back. People are funny like that. Some will hit you when you are up, others when you are down. Like the song goes: people just LOVE dirty laundry. (love that song)
12 months ago I adopted my new and healthy motto: "What other people think about me is NONE of my business!" And it really helped me grow a lot. The book The 4 Agreements was another tool that helped me develop a thicker skin in the public work I do. I have struggled with a body that doesn't always do what I want it too do. Not because my mind "didn't want it too" but stemming more from years of abusing it with medications including high doses of steroids for a back injury cause me to gain more and more weight. Car accidents left damage that overtime has been like my spine is playing domino's. I have been on so many different types of "crap" that I was suffering side effects which also cause a weakened immune system. Years of this morphed into becoming super hyper sensitive to those same meds Drs all wanted me to take. Last Ortho check, I was refereed to a Pain Management Clinic for injections into my spine. Spirit NEVER allowed me to make or keep that appt I kept hearing NO loud and clear. I let my weight keep me from flying to NYC and doing a Discovery Chanel Documentary about Mediumship, I told "*gasp* Harpo Studios NO because I didn't like what I looked like on camera. So I was suffering physically, emotionally and professionally. I knew something had to give. I couldn't keep doing the same thing and expect a different results. I also was becoming more and more down loosing my quality of life as I gained more weight from the inability to exercise. I used to bike, ride horses, hike, body sculpt, and DANCE. None of those things were possible anymore. Long term pain....can be debilitating to a Spirit. My energy levels became a struggle to manage. However, I loved channeling healing energy for others. I honestly believe that without doing it, I might have never made it through. I know that we all help each other. I teach that it is impossible to channel energy without it filling you first! I still strongly believe this today. Love and God can heal everything!
Then I was put on insulin a year ago. I was so upset. Now I had even more meds to take. More unbalance my body needed to overcome. It was hard giving myself injections every night. It never really was completely controlled. By diet or otherwise. Nothing would work without EXERCISE! But all Ortho Drs said NO EXERCISE! A not nice MIND GAME hamster wheel I let them put me on for several years. Around Dec 2009 my Dr refereed me to a friend of hers. She told me that I should go to this meeting at RGH. Said, "Robin, Merry Christmas... please DO NOT miss it." So I went. I met my awesome Dr that very same night. I found out at the standing room only seminar her "friend" was a Bariatric Surgen. He sought me out after his presentation and said, "Robin if you choose to do this, I promise to take good care of you and he has. I called the office which has a 3 month waiting list Jan 3 and someone had canceled an apointment the following day. I took it. I have been in "boot camp" ever since. Head to toe, in and out I have been tested and retested. I have under gone training and more. It has been a fierce year of prep work. My insurance company approved it all. I became a well educated patient. I asked tons of questions, even met clients in the waiting room....almost everytime I went, someone said: Pastor Robin is that you? lol The health risks are high for anyone over weight, but on all the meds too? Way worse. You may never choose something like this or maybe you might but it is NOT the easy way out. It has been by far the hardest thing I have ever done for myself! And this is just the very begining! Sometimes those you think will be supportive are not. They told me horror stories just days before my surgery to "trip me up". Reminding me that I had to do this FOR ME!

Last Mon May 10th was my re-birthday. With an amazing team of nurses, Drs, family & friends for support, I now am the proud owner of a 2010 Lap-Band System. As of today 25 lbs has been shed off my spine just 2 weeks. (a week of liquid prep)I left the hospital off ALL INSULIN, blood pressure meds and most importantly pain/steroid meds for my back. My spine has been pain free. I am able to WALK daily. I am able to rejoice in my heart....feeling my soul awaken , my connection to the Spirit World is deeper than ever. I am clear, and excited about the future. I am getting MY MIRACLE. I am so grateful that soon I will be able to ride horses again, to bike, hike and dance again. I will be able to golf again. I will be able to BREATHE again. I am proud of my personal choice. I am proud of the courage it took for me to finally allow the ME I want to see in the mirror break "free from her cocoon" And I hope, I really hope you support my efforts. I fall down, but I ALWAYS get back up. I heard in a meeting last night if I didn't tell you....some might see the rapid weight loss and think I was sick! So I decided in morning meditation to share my story with you! Spirit has sent me NOTHING but butterflies as signs the whole way! We are one....With Love, ~Robin Wind
The Butterfly Tribe

Roughing the Storm

So surgery went well last Mon. I was released late Wed afternoon. Ended up with a awesome private suite, wonderful nurses & friends. Over all the Dr couldn't have been happier with the results. Now I have realized that trying to rough out the pain and discomfort for the next few weeks might be more challenging than I first thought. The only allergic reaction I had was to the meds in my pain pump. Caused a "vertigo" reaction that was the most "stormy" night during my stay. Today I was finally able to read and focus my eyes without the body wanting to throw myself or my cookies overboard! Sleeping isn't easy without one of those lovely adjustable beds the hospital uses (the only thing I miss) I feel like a turtle on my back most of the time. I need help up and down, in and out. Jo has taken family leave for 10 more days to help me. I am grateful. I have emotional showers which occur daily. Teary from this entire metamorphose process. All of the changes happening so quickly and the total lack of control I have with my body right now. Taking lots of deep breaths and one day at a time. Keeping my eyes on the prize. Not making too many plans far out yet. And can I tell you that RESTING, SITTING, WATCHING MINDLESS TV is not fun for someone who is always running in the fast lane.
I am taking walks with Lily Bits. Can't lift anything for a month (((((what?)))))) She has been a wonderful 4 legged nurse. Kisses the blues away. I will be busy learning how to delegate and allowing others help me. Another lesson I am sure will be awkward. I heard lyrics to an old song for the 70"s I think just before dawn yesterday, "I've been to Paradise....but I've never been to Me."
A female guides voice was singing it in my head like a powerful spirit message! I got it loud and clear. I will take my time getting to know me, my body better. We are bonding right now. I no longer look at it as my enemy or anchor. When it talks: I will listen. When it is tired I will rest it. And everyday I will worship my physical temple. Take the time to fix and balance what is broken. Shed this skin, grow those wings and fly! Did I mention we are going on a cruise Oct 2-8 to the Bahamas? Celebrating a dear friends 60th Birthday. Mmmm.....I see lots and lots of dancing & dolphin! (and note to self - patches for sea sickness) *giggles*

Operation Butterfly....

So as the smell of Lilac's enters my office window, I thought it was time to share some exciting news. Operation Butterfly has begun! 2010 will truly be a year of transformation and change for me. I am taking personal steps to get healthier by taking better care of the"one who cares for so many" as my dear friend Sandy calls me. I have already disposed of 18 lbs.....the long overdue journey has begun. I am having surgery next Mon to "help me-better help myself". This combined with the release of baggage/abuse of my childhood, should be a celebration of sorts. More ceremony of the positive.....less emotional attachment to the negative. I am not foolish enough to attempt lag of the journey all alone. I have a team. It is called TEAM BUTTERFLY. They are a wonderful group of friends and professionals whom I adore, trust and count on for support. This process will not be easy. Some days are down right brutal actually. But I will do it. Step by step. I am ready do my part to be successful on this important part of my journey. Spirit Guides are very "on board" as well. I laugh remembering the other day when I zeroed in on a stone at Two Hawks Gallery. Yes, I know that the idea of the heavens opening up with angels singing and me having a "moment" with a stone, crystal AKA Rock is hard to imagine, but it happened! lol It is called a: Snakeskin Agate. A few highlights out of "The Crystal Bible" are: Spiritually it strengthens the base and sacral chakras, rooting the soul into the body and the earth, and facilitating full acceptance of incarnation. *giggles* Snakeskin Agate connects you to the joy of living, and reminds you as the snake sheds its skin, you can slough off your past and be reborn! Teaching "like cures like". I love that part! For years I have said "I wish I could find a person that could channel Spirit energy, like I do for others". It appears the universe agrees. They will also be cheering me on, helping me help myself, picking me up when I am down. Channeling energy in and clearing out those nightmares of the past.
I am grateful every single day for the opportunity to serve Spirit, to serve others and now I am happy to see the real me again. I am ready to become all I am meant to be! In morning meditations I see my new beautiful wings in bright beautiful colors being woven. Fully aware that as fragile as butterfly's wings are: they are "wind current" strong for her as she dances gracefully across the sky. I am ready to dance and fly again..... I hope you find the time to discover your inner butterfly too!
My Love, ~Robin Wind

Reflections

So it has been awhile since my last confession....mmm I mean blog! Things have been going really great. Working hard, life moving along nicely until yesterday afternoon. I was in Ontario, heading to my brothers house. I am sitting at a red light minding my business. And I heard the screeching of brakes and had the time to think: "wow I hope that isn't behind....." as my mind said ME I was launched. Up high into brief silence (later I find out that one of my car's safety features shut all power off to protect from fire or gas tank explosion)and into the car in front of me. The sound of glass, metal quickly reminding me of a head on crash I survived many years ago. I do a brief inventory of self. I felt myself in a ripple wave of energy during the crash, could feel Spirit around me AGAIN....or should I say STILL? I get out, to see the car behind me folded in half his engine on the road the rest is practically in his lap. I get him out as the driver in front of me is trying to help me. I calmly call 911. He looks at me shaking, (all of us were) tears down his cheeks and says: I am so sorry. I hugged him. And said I was just happy that HE was ok. He told us he was overtired and he was texting his girlfriend on his way home from work. When the reality of his choices hit him, he sat on the side of the road with his head in his hands crying. He just crashed his company car. Almost killed 2 people sitting at a traffic light. He couldn't even look at us the rest of the time we were together. 2 troupers came moving us off 104. Whole thing took almost 2 hours out of my day. But the ripple effect for all 3 of us will last a lot longer. The flash backs of my accident caused a huge emotional release. I have been reflecting on my life. From that day where my life changed course to where I was yesterday afternoon. Light years....I mean so much changed in such a short amount of time. Funny, time is not what it used to be to me. It is odd to feel this alive again. I am still shaking and stirred up emotionally....but I am well. His car went underneath mine. And it lifted ME UP. Above and out of danger. It took out my muffler system, may have frame damage, and will need a new bumper front and back. But I am ALIVE. I am aware of myself and purpose at a greater level. And no one had to die or come back to life to bring a message forth. The important message to all I know and love: DO NOT TEXT AND DRIVE. I have done this myself. Life is short enough without us gambling it away. Pay attention, if you see someone talking or texting get out of their way. Remind your loved ones to be safe too. Be present. Be in the moment. All is well.

3:00 AM Rambling Thoughts

So I have been busy releasing and letting go with love....people, places and things that no longer serve me. I have found this to be quite an liberating experience overall. I used to get so upset when I heard that someone was out in the world slandering my reputation, saying my name in vane. Unhappy by something I supposedly "did unto another" as they "did unto me ". I am often used as a Spirit Mirror. A mentor once told me, when I became a Spiritualist minister, " if I was pissing people off then I was going to be a a great spiritual guide/teacher someday." I really can appreciate her wisdom today.
More and more these days I hear from Spirit: "What others think of me in none of my business." This has become my new affiirmation. It has made the letting go process a whole lot easier for me. I am very grateful to be able to find the humor in my "not so graceful" experiences of the past. I am finally able to honor the lessons when I responded with fear before I could just be: LOVE
I see how thin my skin was, how stressed out I was, how hurt I choose to be, wanting everyone to like me, working so hard trying to make everyone around me happy. Then one day I just broke. It was way too much pressure holding on to all of that crap, that wasn't really mine to be fixing. Realizing that it was my EGO fueling this energy. Not my higher "we" self. It became clear that it isn't my job to make ANYONE happy.... but it was my job to make myself happy. With this awareness came great relief; freedom of worry and I had more a lot more time and energy. By letting go, I was able to ground and refocus. Releasing everything and everyone with love was all I was supposed do.
Years later, I know that no matter what I do, how pure my intentions may be, someone, somewhere will not like it, will find fault in it. Question it, talk about it, choose to be a victim of it. Will blame it, dislike it, and if allowed will try to destroy the source of it. I have learned even when I am working from the highest vibration of LOVE or SPIRIT, that this positive energy can really tick off those who " vibrate lower". For some, to avoid taking personal responsibility for the choices they made, it is simply easier to make drama, point fingers at others to avoid the spot light shining to brightly on them. People don't expect someone to set healthy boundaries, or to mirror back to them their behaviors. They sure don't expect someone to tell them what they need to hear and not what they want to hear. Once walls are torn down, the lights go on, the person can no longer live in the dark and in denial. Once control is released changes will happen, and ultimately this will force them into a unknown terrority. History has proven time and time again, that people will always try to destroy something they don't understand. Whether persons, creatures or the world around them, it is easy to do when you view yourself as SEPERATE from them. I believe we must elimate this false illuision. Instead of feeling fear first we must find faith. Once you find it, you will begin to feel your connection to everything and everyone. Then we can embrace this new essence of self. So don't run away from challanges. Where ever you go, there you are. Stay and do your work. No, it won't be easy....this is why it is called work! And no one can do it for you but in a group, where there are 2 or more gathered in LOVE God will help you. Remember that free will and choice, allows us to BE all that we are meant to be. Do NOT take things personal, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Together we will be able to continue moving forward with the least amount of ciaos possible. Walk your talk, and lead by example always staying true to yourself. A person shouldn't ever have to hide their light because it makes others uncomfortable. If it's too bright, I say "put on your shades baby". If someone is doing something that is really bothering you, look in the mirror, reflect inward and ask higher self: Why is this happening? Release it and let it go.... Rinse and Repeat lol
Give yourself permission to twinkle and shine. Learn to love and to trust your higher self to be HONEST with you. By doing so, you give others permission to do the same. And lets face it, in life some days you are the bird, and some days you are the statue. But all times we are related. Just Be LOVE......Good Night!

Turning it up and Processing stuff.....

So the last month the Spirit World decided to "turn the volume up" even louder. After a natural disaster of any kind or any world event where there is massive loss of life, my clairaudience goes banana's. It gets so loud, I can't sleep. My own spirit rhythms and patterns are disrupted. I hear "spirits, radio & sound waves, people who are still hear calling out for them, often in other languages. And sometimes when it is at the peak or worst, I can hear injured people and animals calling out for help. After this initial wave of energy hits, then the "feeling zone" in my center is filled with the "fear & pain" of all those effected. I work minute by minute to release and let go of what isn't mine to bare. Very aware that "without" my greater connection with God, regularly releasing it all to our Creator I might break. It is God's Amazing Grace that gives me my strength.
I had an "out of body" experience a few weeks ago where I was with a young woman and I "woke up buried under stone. Not being able to move at all. She had light blond/brown hair: American I believe, she was so scared, too cold and she kept telling me it was so quiet. To quiet. I told her that she was going to be alright, I was with her now. I felt her thoughts of her family, her fear of the dark most and dying of course. So I wrapped her up in light, and began singing to her. The next day, I felt like I was still holding her, a part of her was somehow inside of me. Try as I might, my body could NOT get warm. Felt totally unable to forget our time under the rubble. After a few quiet hours of early AM prayers, meditation and returning emails....I suddenly noticed she was gone. No longer suffering. I felt her moving to the Spirit World with love & light. I have had this same type of experience for years now, holding children infected with HIV in Africa as they are passing into spirit. Soothing pain, singing songs to ease fears.
No, this is not one of my favorite parts of my "super powers" and something I struggle to live with. I sometimes wonder why this is part of my reality. But then I remember what one of the Shaman told me in the Peruvian jungle. I am 1 of 4 on the planet at this time. My job or mission is so "ease the suffering" in the world with the Creator's light energy which flows through my being. Besides my heart being jump started a few times in the past, he could see, and felt that I had been struck by lightening at one point. He was certain that is what makes my connection so strong. Over the years, going back over the physical memories of my NDE (near death experience) I have started to accept this as truth.
Another elder who has never been out of the jungle told me: he had seen and felt "me" years ago when his tribe lost his mother. All were standing by the edge of the Amazon, she was called to go home....so she walked into the water. A dolphin appeared were she went under. The whole tribe watched her jump and swim away from them. Very similar to my own dolphin experience many years ago. I felt our stories were far to similar to be a coincidence.
If you know me you have heard me say a thousand times or more: My gifts are a blessing or a curse depending on which day you ask! Lucky for me, most days are blessing. I love serving the Creator and the wonderful people I meet. More and more I realize that this isn't just a US thing, it is a International thing, not just an International thing but a Universal thing. The higher mission bridges all beings, all worlds together as ONE. I have no idea how this will happen. I only know that it is happening already. I am ready......

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

So I was totally overwhelmed by all the fb, e-mail birthday wishes (pages of them) the cards, flowers & gifts I received. I am still doing lunch, dinner dates with friends and family. I think the celebrating will go on for at least another week. I am feeling fantastic about the future plans we are making. I have an amazing manager/group working with me. I am so very grateful to share my life with such wonderful people. Yes, and YOU are one of them.
I look forward to a great new year. A year of serving Spirit, working with my clients and meeting new friends. Looking forward to taking more classes too. I am traveling a bit this summer. Serving NSAC Camps. I will be in Maine for a week and Michigan too. A week in Lily Dale. We will be hosting 2 Women Healing Retreats June and September.
We are very pleased to be offering new and advanced healing classes to my students. Keep checking the Robin Winds Web-site.
My new pipe has been born/carved especially for me by a gifted spirit inspired friend!
So I will be busy learning Sun Bears Sacred Healing Pipe Ceremony this year as well.
If there is one thing I am certain: I am dearly blessed!

Ah-ho from a smiling & grateful, ~Robin Wind & Company

Sharing Love and Healing for Haiti & the World

Service To Community

May I be a protector to those without protection,
A leader for those who journey,
A boat, a bridge, a passage,
For those desiring the further shore.

May the pain of every living creature
Be completely cleared away.
May I be the doctor and the medicine
And may I be the nurse
For all sick beings in the world
Until everyone is healed.

Just like space
And the great elements such as earth,
May I always support the life
Of all the boundless creatures.

And until they pass away from pain
May I also be the source of life
For all realms of varied beings
That reach unto the ends of space and tine.

A prayer by Tibetan Buddhist Teacher Sogyal Rinpoche “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying”


Pastor Robin Higgins shared this at PSC Sunday Service Jan. 17th 2010

Ducks Make Ducks....If We Are Really Lucky!

So I am giggling inside from the class I had this AM with the Church Board of Trustees. Returning home now very happy, proud and grateful to be working with such an amazing group of folks. The material prepared for them was bound in folders covered with Yellow Ducks. Years ago, many of my students, congregation, fondly nicknamed me " Momma Duck". Because I lead by example, offer support and protection to my/the flock. I hope that they are able to follow these examples of "Spirit Connection" on their Spiritual journeys, in the development of their own Mediumship or Healing abilities. Over the years, I have received oodles of thank you cards, rubber duckies, stuffed duckies, pens, pins and so on. Whenever an important question is asked: often a loud Quack followed by waves of giggles come from one of them. We know that we are all being led into service by God with love and light. The group I work with at PSC strives to provide high quality with the work we do in the community, stay humble in the energy, and are always grateful for the opportunity to serve Spirit.
Life is all about growing from our experiences, personal stories, life lessons. If you are like me you might have "visions." Last year, my sister found a "childhood" drawing I did at maybe the age of 4 or 5. I was stunned to see, that it looks very much like the Church I am Pastor of today. Including color-antique blue and the 3 upper windows. When she gave it to me she said: "See Robin, you always knew what you were meant to do!" 'You were shown a vision of PSC well before you knew what Spiritualism was. You or they knew you were going to play an important part of it." I have always seen Spirits. They have been a part of who I am from the beginning.
Yes, I am seeing clearer than ever before, receiving more visions for the future for our Religion and higher mission for humanity overall. I am aware that God has sent me everything I need to "make their visions so." I am wide awake and aware of many things coming full circle. Knowing that endings always...... create new beginnings. It brings me Peace and Calming and at the same time excitement for what's "coming next." Now that there are more who are here and willing to share the load, do the work, and welcome responsibility there is NOTHING we can't accomplish. I am counting on one thing for certain: That Ducks Really Do Make Ducks. That these fine people will LOVE Plymouth and it's purpose as much as I do. I know that we haven't seen "anything" yet. Spirit is going to ROCK, RAP and ROLL so the rest of the world KNOWS there is no death, there are no dead! Together We Are One.

Channeled Message Jan 3, 2010

So these are "some notes" from guides who channeled at PSC Sunday Service Jan 3, 2010. Great way for Spirit to start the New Year!

Greetings.
There is an eerie calm - souls are aligned and knowing we are where we should be.
Co-create the world we want to see.
Step in light and truth. This is not the time to feel shy and insecure. Use Love to become brightly connected to all.
The Spirit world is becoming more filled. Many are leaving your planet. We are sending guides to you. They are showing up to assist you- touch, tickle, in effecting electronics.
If you ask a question to the Universe. Listen, you may get an answer from a stranger or from a song to remind us we hear, are aware. Energy is in line.
Be careful what you speak. Be clear what you ask for. It is a powerful time, so be aware of the power of the spoken word. The energy it sends out into our Universe.
Listen to your Intuition and allow energy to work through you.
Become more Christ-like. Necessary for the planet if we want to survive the changes.
'We' are sending healing to earth.
Make your vibration light. Leave worries behind. Seek happiness.
Trust yourself more. Remind others, we are worthy of good things in the world.
Let your light shine bright so others can find their light and also share.
'We' send love and blessings to all.
Good day.

How Can We Really Do It All?

So yesterday a client asked me after talking about being a Light Worker= a Healing Channel, Spirit channel/messenger and the Pastor of a thriving church, "How can you do it all"? I laughed and said, "I am not doing it alone. There are many seen and unseen forces who work with me." But in the wee hours in the morning, I heard her question reverberating off the walls, again and again. See, she was asking a question that I have been asking myself for years now. Do I want to shift my focus off the day to day stuff and move on into just ONE area of service? As to not be divided energy wise. And I always come back to: "how could I choose"? I know that all of these pieces make up the WHOLE or ONE I am. My link to the Creator. To separate or choose one of these parts would be like "picking one of my children as my favorite". It quite simply isn't possible. All are an equal part of the whole. (I gotta pause to giggle. I strongly dislike Math and they give me a flippin math equation?)

I am always being led, serving humanity the way I am supposed too. Funny, it wasn't what I thought I would be doing when I grew up. I find great satisfaction in my work...doing God's work. Certain that there is a greater plan for us all, and we each are each progressing in divine order, then all is perfect. I am ONE with all that IS. I aka Robin's Ego has toiled around with getting a PHD in Metaphysical Science. To have that piece of paper that "society" thinks is so important to prove what I/we do or channel is...somehow more... valid? But my higher self resits this. Jesus, Mother Theresa and other's of service...did not require such documents! Felt no need to prove who they were. They let their "example" speak for them. Had great Faith that the God of their understanding was calling them, leading them into service. Besides I am not finding material out there (accept Math... okay and computer techie science) that "we" couldn't teach ourselves, (not ego just fact) I ask a question: "They answer it". I know at the end of the process, I would receive a certificate that has my name with a letters after it, a title where all of the wisdom, extra credit, glory belongs to "Them" not me. This just doesn't "feel" right to me. And those that "know" me also are aware I strongly dislike titles...as to my vibration and opinion: implies a superiority or human arrogance which often this leads to a lack of connection to others.

They tell me everyday: Just do the work Robin. Serve all those we send to you. We are with you always. So I do lovingly and willingly. My "job or purpose" channeling whatever a Soul Needs. Spirit calls this "Rendering Service To A Soul" . Sure there isn't a 401k or health benefit's, paid sick days or vacations. But I have been blessed with a lifetime of wonderful experiences of helping God.... help others. With personal Healing, delivering Spirit Messages, Teaching and offering Spiritual guidance. And that instructs/provides my spirit with everything I need to "know". My guides remind me I will always have everything I need. Be Light. Be Love. Walk in Grace. At the end of the day what other people think of me is really none of my business. What matters most: what I believe about myself...and my own connection with them.

I am being told to share a few important lessons of value I picked up along the way: Let Go Of Control. To always ask for help when you need it. Delegate to others who are sent by "them" They may wish to be part of the journey with you. Always say: Thank You! Believe in things you can't see! Trust what you Feel. Honor Yourself. Ask. Listen. Allow. Always be Kind. Smile More. Laugh. Love Anyway. Forgive often. Live by the Golden Rule: Treat everyone the way you would like to be treated.
" Together We Can Do More". We are each a part of the greater WHOLE!

Happy New You Year!

So we survived the final month of the year, that was jammed pack with many holiday events & party's, along with a few weddings and a funeral! We welcomed 2010 with a wonderful Bowl Burning Ceremony at PSC. 55 + people attended. We enjoyed a pleasant night of releasing, refocusing and refreshing our Spirit. More and more lately my Native American ancestry is becoming a part of my work. I am thrilled to share sacred healing ceremony with you. A combination of my teachings & training from teachers; Seneca, Mohawk, Lakota, Cherokee and Bear Tribes...including the sacred medicine from the Peruvian Jungle.
I am excited to be having the opportunity to study with some powerful elders. I am channeling my Spirit Teachers as well. Sometimes I feel like I am watching someone else's life unfolding before my eyes. If you had told me 15 years ago, I would be doing what I do today, I would have probably been "rolling on the floor laughing" thinking you were nuts. But here I am....feeling more connected to the Creator's "Spirit World" everyday. Walking in beauty, awake and aware...of my higher purpose. Seeing my life's passion awaken in your eyes. Recognizing the SPIRIT LIGHT we all possess. More and more able to transcend worlds, layers, levels and vibrations. All done with God's Grace and Spirit's incredible love. It is a great honor, privilege
to be walking with you on this amazing journey. This year, we look forward to facilitating your personal healing, watching your own gifts and talents unfold. Assisting as you also discover the true essence of your spiritual being! Happy 2010 Dear One's.
~Robin Wind & Company