A Lesson in Powerless?

So you look confused! Yes, I can see you sitting there reading. Thinking Robin Wind is all about empowering people... isn't she? And I am! But let me tell you about a lesson I got yesterday that I would never like to repeat again anytime soon. It was BC (before coffee) I was checking emails while waiting for it to brew. I click on 1 and suddenly sirens go off. A voice telling me danger, danger high alert. Which instantly reminds me of growing up by the power plant and the sirens warning/ER testing they do monthly. I just about hit the deck.
I was shocked to see my computer literally melting before my very eyes. I couldn't shut it off quick enough. A Trojan with...gasp....worms had hit my system and destroyed about 4 to 6 months of work in a matter of seconds. I screamed, swore, cried, hyperventilated (which I am sure caused my pounding headache all night and this AM) and finally collapsed into the fetal position. Stop laughing at me! Control issues combined with sheer panic are NOT funny.
OK, maybe they are to my pets who were watching their Mom pitch a full blown melt down side by side her beloved lap top. A hour later the "guy"a mere mortal today and not the "god" I once thought he was (tho still a hero in the tech world=he can do anything to computers!) couldn't save "her" Told me he had never seen anything like this. He worked on it from 9AM-6PM last night. Over 380+ files were infected...bottom line: total loss. NOTHING could be saved. Still more pouting, crying and stamping my foot from hourly reports coming from his ER room. Tell him AKA "The God" this this was not acceptable. To go "back in" there. I was certain that something had to still be alive! Bless his heart...think I heard a tear in voices on the phone because they had ever heard me so upset before.
Then something happened....I surrendered. I went limp and silent. Realised this battle was all over. Time to let go.....and to move on. I think that loosing all of the control all at once was what was the hardest. So much info lost. Can't be found anywhere else. Private Addresses(yes, including inquires made to me from Allison DeBois, Discovery Channel, HBO, HARPO/Oprah), old emails, classes, contacts and contracts, photo's, chapters of my book, all things that eventually, over time will return. Those that don't....I don't need anymore. New ones will quickly replace them.
I will continue to write, be inspired to create more....co-create for a better quality of "work".
My assistant said a few times this AM: Not to worry. It is all for the better.....new material, new equipment and programs are coming. Everything happens for a reason. I am reminded after meditation this morning that there is ALWAYS a much Higher Power who is really in charge. Divine order....Universal Laws in place.
Until I recover fully, I am humbly back down to the bare bones. What I learned? Keep working on those control issues Robin (lol), about Super Sonic Ft Knox Anti Virus Programs, Back up hard drives, always have a hard copy. Working on a new filing system for better organization over all. Never put EVERYTHING into one person, place or thing, oh yeah, and maybe it is time for a basic computer class!
Today I am building again, always and anyway! And yes, dear ones I am also smiling too.

Happiness is a Choice....

So do you know how many times I have seen clients who are presenting depleting energy of emotional pain, anger and inner turmoil that manifests as dis-ease? They look as though I have tossed ice cubes into their lap when I say: So just how long do you want to go on feeling this way?" Like they have a choice! Well they do! But no one ever told them they HAD. Free will and choice is what separates us from the animal kingdom. A cat or dog looses free will and choice when its owner picks them up and removes them from "their" favorite spot. But humans DO have choices. Hundreds or thousands a day. Each and Everyday. Do I wear these shoes or those, this tie or that way, mmm... what kind of coffee, water and so on. So why the surprise (wild look of fear in their eyes) when I inform them that they also have freewill and choice with "choosing their own happiness or unhappiness"? Are the afraid of the very thought of having POWER? Peter Parker AKA Spider Man says it best; "With great power, comes even greater responsibility. " (maybe not an exact quote but close enough lol) My guides tell me this often. Again and again I hear a inner Spiritual Code of Conduct: RESPECT, RESPONSIBILITY, DISCIPLINE, DEDICATION and COMMITMENT.
I think that we often forget just how powerful we are. Well why would a we know what's best for us: parents tell us, the Dr's tell us, Clergy or the Bible tells us, friends tell us, our boss tells us, CNN News tells us, the zillions of surveys tell us. What about this kind of mind training says: We KNOW WHAT WE WANT NEED> to make our own happiness? It doesn't. What we have learned is to give our personal power away. To those in authority. Not for the highest and best good of others. Why do we do it? Because we do not know how to TRUST ourselves. Our own instincts. Listen to our own connection to the GOD of our understanding. The power of Prayer or Meditation helps us RECONNECT. It turns on the LIGHT. The power comes from a source. It helps us to "ask and it shall be answered". By tapping into our higher self first we can retrain ourselves "to think less and trust more". Do not be so quick to believe EVERYONE else knows you better than you know yourself. Turn your inner light on and let it shine brightly. Take your power back. Choose to be happy, healthy, wealthy and wise. Once reconnected to the Universe absolutely ANYTHING is possible.

Run Like Deer, Fight like Mother bear, Hide like fox, Learn to Strike like rattlesnake.

For those who know me, know I take everything "personally". I am beginning to realize that by doing so I have "unknowingly" been projecting a victim (gives power away) energy out into the world. However, I am standing much taller these days, head held high, eyes wide open. And I am learning that I am more the survivor now.(takes power back) I am getting better at setting healthier personal boundaries, speaking my truth and fighting for injustice in this world. For all injustice effects the Spiritual parts of me of us all. I no longer can run away, tuck my head in the sand, pretending that it is ok for people who I help and humbly serve with love and light to continue to control or abuse me.
Oh and recently someone asked me the million dollar question: who told me that is wasn't okay to be angry? Until that moment, I thought anger was unhealthy. Anger was used in my victim past to control and abuse me. But I know that some anger is healthy for the human part of me. So today I am owning my anger. I will feel it. Find my balance with it. Knowing that it is okay to be angry by the disrespect, inconsideration, rudeness that some people project in the world towards me. I am fuious (like a mother bear) that the more good I do everyday, the more likely there will be a lost soul who will try to knock me down or out of the game. Today I am standing with a fist in the air, shouting to the heavens, I am still HERE and no matter what happens I will keep doing and being what I am....LOVE in this world.