A Lesson in Powerless?

So you look confused! Yes, I can see you sitting there reading. Thinking Robin Wind is all about empowering people... isn't she? And I am! But let me tell you about a lesson I got yesterday that I would never like to repeat again anytime soon. It was BC (before coffee) I was checking emails while waiting for it to brew. I click on 1 and suddenly sirens go off. A voice telling me danger, danger high alert. Which instantly reminds me of growing up by the power plant and the sirens warning/ER testing they do monthly. I just about hit the deck.
I was shocked to see my computer literally melting before my very eyes. I couldn't shut it off quick enough. A Trojan with...gasp....worms had hit my system and destroyed about 4 to 6 months of work in a matter of seconds. I screamed, swore, cried, hyperventilated (which I am sure caused my pounding headache all night and this AM) and finally collapsed into the fetal position. Stop laughing at me! Control issues combined with sheer panic are NOT funny.
OK, maybe they are to my pets who were watching their Mom pitch a full blown melt down side by side her beloved lap top. A hour later the "guy"a mere mortal today and not the "god" I once thought he was (tho still a hero in the tech world=he can do anything to computers!) couldn't save "her" Told me he had never seen anything like this. He worked on it from 9AM-6PM last night. Over 380+ files were infected...bottom line: total loss. NOTHING could be saved. Still more pouting, crying and stamping my foot from hourly reports coming from his ER room. Tell him AKA "The God" this this was not acceptable. To go "back in" there. I was certain that something had to still be alive! Bless his heart...think I heard a tear in voices on the phone because they had ever heard me so upset before.
Then something happened....I surrendered. I went limp and silent. Realised this battle was all over. Time to let go.....and to move on. I think that loosing all of the control all at once was what was the hardest. So much info lost. Can't be found anywhere else. Private Addresses(yes, including inquires made to me from Allison DeBois, Discovery Channel, HBO, HARPO/Oprah), old emails, classes, contacts and contracts, photo's, chapters of my book, all things that eventually, over time will return. Those that don't....I don't need anymore. New ones will quickly replace them.
I will continue to write, be inspired to create more....co-create for a better quality of "work".
My assistant said a few times this AM: Not to worry. It is all for the better.....new material, new equipment and programs are coming. Everything happens for a reason. I am reminded after meditation this morning that there is ALWAYS a much Higher Power who is really in charge. Divine order....Universal Laws in place.
Until I recover fully, I am humbly back down to the bare bones. What I learned? Keep working on those control issues Robin (lol), about Super Sonic Ft Knox Anti Virus Programs, Back up hard drives, always have a hard copy. Working on a new filing system for better organization over all. Never put EVERYTHING into one person, place or thing, oh yeah, and maybe it is time for a basic computer class!
Today I am building again, always and anyway! And yes, dear ones I am also smiling too.