It's a New Dawn a New Day.....And I am feeling?

So the song goes.....I am feeling good! Most days are pretty awesome. I love having so much energy. And did I mention I now have a closet and a dresser full of things I can't wear for an entirely different reason? These days, getting ready still takes forever, but instead of nothing fitting properly or at all, now they are falling off and not fitting at all! ( : I AM NOT complaining. But I am now trying to decide do I take the really good designer stuff to be altered, or should I just replace them? I never thought about the the expense of doing that. But I think that I will have to be smart and do it in baby steps. Going to start cruising the
2 nd Hand Consignment Stores in the area. Save money that way. Maybe take my Blue Fish Designer Dresses, shirts and skirts in with me and resell them on consignment or EBay. For those who don't know, Blue Fish clothes are heavy grade A cotton, organic, hand painted, dated and numbered pieces. I own several vintage "retired" pieces. My favorite? A dark green Celtic looking dress with velvet trim and cuffs that retails for well over $300. These designs are: Renaissance, Mystical & Romantic and always in style. They look good on all shapes and sizes, dresses are almost floor length. Always fit "me" and the type of work that I do out in the world. Whenever I wear them on stage or after a church service, women always ask me WEAR can they find them? For years, I have been pimping this brand as well as the Angel Heart Designs too. I will now need to let these go and slowly begin to replace them with something that fits the new "me" better. Maybe it's time to show a little more leg? lol With another 60+ lbs to go, I will wait to buy NEW items until the true butterfly is done emerging. I am grateful for the use of these "works of art." I support the art community 100 %. I buy things that move me, touch my spirit. And yes, I like things with textures. Handmade or vintage antique jewelry, clothes, cotton & hemp products....I find myself these days going greener still. Antique shops just "call me." To help the planet I have been recycling, reusing and refurbishing for years. I am finally becoming more the "me" that I have been missing for so long. There is a whole new level of energy in the connection to Spirit and to the connection of everything actually. I am laughing MORE. Finding so much joy in the everyday, simple things. I thank God everyday for the gifts, and for you!

It's Not What Your Eating....It's What's Eating You!

So now that I am dealing with all the emotional parts of weight loss, I realize just how much was buried over the years when I wasn't paying attention during the weight gain. Things aka emotions that I had"stuffed" away. I also discovered that "stuff" unresolved....over the years, will eat away at you! Bit by bit, it stores as fat and then manifests as pain within the body. A numbness or loneliness in the Spirit. What a WOW moment that was for me. I am learning how to ask for what I want and need. Without assuming others "already or should know." They aren't psychic. Not everyone see, and hears like I do. So now I must be clear with my words. Speak my truth, And then feel worthy of receiving. No, not at all easy to making all of these changes all at once. But one day at a time, step by step I am getting it. I am stepping out of the roll of victim. Choosing much more to be the survivor. I am comfortable at being a leader too. Someone said to me yesterday, how brave I am. I actually felt....proud of myself. Being proud isn't an EGO thing. It is about liking myself or an accomplishment and allowing myself to feel good about it inside and out. I can take compliments easier today when up until recently I would shy away from them. Now I just smile and just say Thank You. Many of my "tribe" have been kind and supportive. While others surprised me at how they just "stepped away." Choose to not be around much, never talk about it. I understand "it" is pretty intense....real. No walls, or hiding for me anymore. I am out, exposed, becoming more confident and being true to myself. Someone else recently said: (with a face of disgust) why would you do something like this to yourself? Without missing a beat I said: because I love myself enough to take better care of my own needs. Stop putting EVERYTHING and EVERYONE ahead of them. I am finding my JOY.
She didn't say anything and I haven't seen her since! Hey, I KNOW it has nothing to do with me...how others feel about my lap band. And I also know, that what other people think of me is none of my business! lol What is most important is how I feel about me, my choices and what I am eating. I am not letting emotional issues go unattended. I feel it, deal with it and move on from it. Just keep walking, swimming, dancing and singing! And living my life out loud. Authentic and happy to be alive again. Which BTW means: MY BODY IS ALMOST PAIN FREE BABY!